After my sleepless nights, I desperately sought a solution. Chemical means were out of the question for me. Intuitively, I decided after a short time to devote myself to meditation. From the study of mystical and spiritual teachings I knew about the basics of meditation practice. To suppress thoughts during meditation seemed not the right path, because I tried it before and they were the absolute troublemaker in my life. So I sat cross-legged and began to focus on my turbulent inner life. I watched what thoughts and emotions circulated in me. At the beginning it was comparatively stormy and I meditated only five minutes. After a break, I sat again for meditation and began to immerse myself in my inner world.
It did not take long until an old memory - connected with a sad emotion - arose in me and I burst into tears from pain. This experience brought such relief and peace that I continued - with curiosity and the absolute will to healing. I modified my strategy by telling my consciousness and subconscious that "everything in me is allowed to be there now". Consecutively, another painful and repressed emotions and memories appeared. I cried a lot during the process and felt completely happy at the end.
I've also found that thoughts and repressed thoughts and emotions scare us until we look at them directly. Thereafter, the corresponding thought and emotion lose their fright. We humans usually run away from the repressed thoughts and emotions, which - if they are looked at - dissolve. By meditating regularly, I was also able to heal my fears and depressive moods.
Meditation is a free and easy practice. However, the mindful meditation in silence requires some degree of determination and courage. One must be determined to confront his repressed thoughts and emotions. But many of us are not ready for this truth, we prefer to distract ourselves through television or other things! The distraction leads us away from truth, whereas courage brings us to our true core.
"Close your eyes, then you will look.
Break your walls, then you will build.
Keep lawait, then you will go.
Let yourself fall, then you will stand. "
Further information about self-development on my homepage: www.angelabill.com.