Experiences from childhood characterize the personality
When a child observes a home scenario where the father disregards or even beats up one's own mother, that experience burns into the subconscious of the human being. It is internalized that love consists of disrespect or even physical violence. This is a completely unconscious conviction - a neurosis - and must be made aware, for example, by psychotherapy. In families where the father figure was absent, a girl's unconscious programming is that love means absence. Consequently, the girl looks for men who are also unavailable or absent - whether through drugs, work, or disability to have relationships. Sigmund Freud wrote: "Disputes between parents themselves, their unfortunate marriage, cause the most severe predisposition for disturbed sexual development or neurotic disease of children."
Psychology states that experiences in childhood - concerning love - are repeated later in life. When a child receives love from both sides of parents, the child usually feels full. It loves and desires people who feel fully themselves and usually enters long-term partnerships. For an intact person, people with relationship problems are simply uninteresting. On the contrary, in the case of the neurosis: human beings - on a subconscious level - consider it as a normality to be abandoned or rejected. People with neurosis unconsciously seek partners who do not love them or abandon them.
Treatment and ways out of neurosis
First, it should be noted that neurosis is not a disease, but an unconscious, psychological conflict. Kurt Tucholsky articulated his view of neurosis as follows: "The average urban Central European is always in the (pre) stage of neurosis." A neurotic person has to recognize that repeated abandonment is a product of programming. Individuals unconsciously seek partners who let them undergo the childlike experience. The abandoned person is not a bad person, but carries a certain programming inside.
For the reduction of neuroses a psychotherapy is recommended. However, there are other options to re-program the unconscious: EFT - Emotional Freedom Technique is a mixture of modern psychology and acupressure. This simple method helps to successfully modify negative emotions or programming in a short time. Countless EFT videos on various topics can be found on the Internet and Youtube. Another approach is meditation in complete silence. Meditation is a spiritual practice practiced by many cultures. Meditation reduces stress, creates bliss, and provides valuable insights into one's own personality. Furthermore, the meditation helps to recognize and dissolve its unconscious programming.